Varsity Blues

I'm watching the NCAA Championship Game between Butler and Duke right now. It's half-time and Duke are up by 1 point.

And it's great.

There's a brass band, cheerleaders, 70,000 people in the stadium, and…wait for it…IT'S ON TV!

I know less about basketball than I know about the political system of Burkina Faso, but I know it's exciting (the Championship Game that is, not the Berkinabe government - although I am intrigued as to whether Compaore will stand for a third term in the forthcoming elections). And I'm also learning all the time. Because IT'S ON TV!

College sports in America are awesome.

Beaver Stadium in Pennsylvania holds 107,282 people.

In England, the crowd at even the biggest university football games consists of:
- About 4 or 5 WAGs
- 3 substitutes
- An elderly couple who are down for the weekend to visit their grandson
- The elderly couple's dog (in most games, the dog runs onto the pitch on at least one occasion, and sinks its teeth into the ball, puncturing it. 64% of games are thereupon abandoned, because that is the only ball that either team possesses. The remaining 36% of games are finished by replacing the indentured ball with a collection of plastic bags wrapped up extremely tightly in elastic bands).

Most American college teams are sponsored by Nike.

My college football team was sponsored by the Curry King, which lucrative deal entitled us to free poppadoms on Thursday nights.

American college sports are ON TV!

The closest an English university football match got to televised coverage was when Greg Foot did an episode of Whizz Whizz Bang Bang on ingenious potential uses for recycled plastic bags.

The Boat Race is an exception to the rule. And I do think it would be great if college football had a similar end-of-season competition to the Big Dance…

…But American college sports are to English college sports as Amazon is to Parcelforce.

And did I mention THEY'RE ON TV!